5 Reasons You Should Not Double Date

Double dating is divided into two;

1. A man or woman having romantic relationship with two different people is said to be double dating. This act is also called TWO TIMING.

2. Two different couples (can be friends or family members) on a date together.

The type of double dating we are going to discuss in this context is the first type: TWO TIMING

So many people double date because they want to and some people double date because they are scared of being hurt. Some people double date because they are not happy with their current partner. Others double date because they have been hurt and don’t want to relive that experience, that is, they don’t want to get hurt anymore.

Double dating is a type of relationship that should not be practiced. It usually doesn’t end well.

Here are a few reasons you should not double date:

1. DOUBLE DATING IS CHEATING

When you double date, you are cheating on one person with the other. You are sharing your feelings, if any. You are sharing your time.

2. DOUBLE DATING IS DECEITFUL

Double dating is deceitful. You lie about things because you don’t want them to find out you are with someone else. The moment they find out, it becomes a problem.

3. LOSS OF ABILITY TO STAY COMMITTED

When you decide to double date, you lose the ability to stay committed to one relationship which may lead to a disastrous split.

4. YOU ARE HURTING THE OTHERS

You double date because you don’t want to get hurt, whereas, you are hurting your partners. You are depriving them of things they deserve.

5. IT DOESN’T END WELL

Double dating is stressful, complex and usually doesn’t end well for those who take up the act. People who double date usually lose both partners.

Double dating is not the solution to bad relationships. It is not the cure for broken hearts. The more you double date, the more you hurt yourself.

If you are not happy with your relationship, discuss with your partner on how to work out things to make you both happy. Not going about double dating or triple dating… yes! Triple dating.

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I’m Into Him But He Doesn’t Know It Yet. What Should I Do?

Hi S.U.M,

I’ve been best friends with this guy for six years now. We do a lot of things together which means we spent most of our days together. He has been a good friend from day 1 and has been with me through out my past relationships.

Recently I noticed I have feelings for him and It’s becoming uncontrollable. The problem is he has a girlfriend which he loves so much. I plan on telling him about my love for him but I am scared because I don’t want to be the cause of their break-up. I also don’t want to lose him as a friend.

What should I do?

How To Walk Away From An Unhealthy Relationship

A relationship where your rights are being violated is unhealthy. A relationship where you aren’t getting as much love as you deserve or give is unhealthy. A relationship where you face domestic violence is unhealthy. And lastly, a relationship where you aren’t respected is unhealthy.

Unhealthy relationships affect the mental, physical and emotional health of the victim. Being beaten every day by a partner affects the physical appearance of a person and can at one point lead to death.

Most people who have an anxiety disorder, panic attacks, shock, PTSD, depression are either victims of unhealthy relationships or sexual abuse or accidents.

Walking away from a relationship is very difficult, especially when it is a romantic relationship, family or friendship.

It’s going to be a very difficult task for you considering the memories you have shared, the time you have spent together, the intimacy and the love you had for your significant other.

It’s going to be easy if only you recognise what you want, what you deserve. For example, In every relationship you are, you deserve peace, joy, love, respect, care e.t.c and if you are not getting any of these, then you need to move elsewhere to get what you want.

Before you walk away, try to work things out with your partner. You guys should work together to achieve the expected results. And if things aren’t working out at all like there is no change, then you can MOVE ON.

Lastly, remember ‘to whom much is given, much is expected’. You have to be a giver first then a receiver. You can not expect love from someone when you are not returning that love. It has to be mutual.

And that’s all for today. Thank you for reading.

God bless you and stay safe😷

How To Lead A Peaceful Home

A house becomes a home when it’s is filled with your families, people you are comfortable with, people you confide in or simply put, your loved ones.

If your home ceases to be peaceful, loving, comfortable, then it becomes a house. A place you just walk into for shelter from sun and rain.

A seventy per cent of aggressive and abusive persons come from non-peaceful homes. Most of them are affected by their parent(s)’ behaviour, how they are being treated and so on. Most causes of broken homes include: divorce, domestic violence, nonchalant attitude towards others and the likes.

Leading a peaceful home takes a lot of patience and hard work. But not to worry, for all the hard work, there is a reward. The reward is PEACE.

Here are a few tips we have written out to help you lead a peaceful home and a peaceful life.

1. KNOW YOURSELF

Know myself? You may ask. Yes! Know yourself!

Discovering who you are, your passion, your behaviour, your mode of thinking, your reaction to things, your favourite things or hobbies would help you navigate yourself around others.

Working on yourself first will help you to lead and work on others.

2. READ AND STUDY OTHERS

Reading, studying people helps the way you think and helps you grow. Understanding the fact that we are all born differently, we are all from different backgrounds or maybe not, we all have different mentality or different ways of seeing things will help you to live with people and stay comfortable around them.

Doing this will make it easier for you to lead a peaceful home and help you control the environment.

3. BE A PEACE LOVING PERSON

An aggressive person cannot lead a peaceful life or home.

You have to love peace, want peace, bring peace to others for your life to be peaceful. It all revolves around oneself. Working on yourself, Will help you discover it all.

4. KNOW JESUS

The word of GOD says ‘ I give peace not as the world giveth’. Only in Christ can you find the perfect peace. He says he gives the peace that passes all man’s understanding. Wow! Isn’t that amazing? No wonder he is called the Prince of Peace.

He says again ‘ come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, I will give you rest’. Jesus will calm every storm in your life, he will make every one of your crooked ways straight if only you believe in him. An ounce of faith is the only thing you need.

Come to him today and find peace.

Thank you for reading.

See you next week. Bye.

10 SIGNS HE IS MR. RIGHT

Finding the right partner needs patience and carefulness because not all good looking men are husband material. A husband material is someone that has the right qualities and potentials to be found in a good husband.

Knowing Mr Right is easy if you can recognise the signs and the traits in your prospective partner.

You may ask, how do I recognise the signs in my Mr right? Simple! because we have listed out 10 signs for you to know he’s the one.

1. HE CARES FOR YOU

The goal of being in a relationship is to be with someone who cares for you, someone who makes you a priority. A selfless person that always wants you to be your best. Always making sure you are happy and comfortable.

2. HE TRUSTS YOU

Trust is like a fence that secures a building which makes it difficult for intruders to invade the building. But what happens when the fence collapse? The building becomes unsafe for the owners. Trust guides the relationship.

If you are with a partner that trusts you and believe in you, stay with them and never lose that trust.

3. HE APPRECIATES YOU

When we appreciate God for the good gifts of life, he feels pleased with us and then tends to do more. The same thing goes for humans, the more we are appreciated, the more we feel loved. Humans don’t like staying where they are not welcomed.

If he appreciates you by telling you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you? Then sis you are with the right person.

4. HE’S RESPONSIBLE

Responsible people are not generally well-behaved people. They are people who recognise their responsibilities and accept them.

A responsible man takes his partner as one of his responsibilities by taking care of her, making her feel safe, meeting her needs and treating her well to the best he can.

5. HE’S NOT ABUSIVE

An abusive partner is a NO-NO. Staying with an abusive partner can break you and never reshape you. The toxicity is unhealthy and no one deserves it.

If you are with an abusive partner please leave now before things become worse and if you don’t know if your relationship is an abusive one, check out our post on When a relationship becomes abusive.

Hello! Read to the end👍

6. HE WANTS YOU

Another sign to know if you have gotten your mr right is that he wants you. Wants you in the sense that he makes effort to be with you. He doesn’t like to lose sight of you. He pursues you. He calls, texts and reach out to you every second.

For him to want you means he appreciates you.

7. HE DOESN’T KEEP SECRETS

Keeping secrets from your partner is not a good thing. It portrays a whole lot of negative things. They say ‘Action speaks louder than words’. If your partner keeps secrets, it means they don’t want you. You are not part of their life. They don’t trust you or cannot confide in you.

You probably don’t want to be with someone like that.

8. HE RESPECTS YOU

Respect does not only come in terms of age. Respect also come in terms of wishes, thoughts, opinions, feelings. Being respected makes you feel heard and cared for.

She that findeth a respective partner findeth a good thing.😀😀😀

9. HE PRAYS FOR YOU

Prayer is the key to all things and the solution to all problems. You have a problem you are unclear about? PRAY!

If your partner prays for you to be better and great, don’t loose him.

10. HE LOVES YOU

Love is the greatest of all. Love is the door to all other traits and signs. If your partner doesn’t love you, he won’t pray, care, trust, respect and cherish you.

Find a partner that loves you and love them dearly. The love must be mutual to make your relationship work.

Thank you for reading to the end. WE LOVE YOU!

WHEN DOES A RELATIONSHIP BECOME ABUSIVE?

Relationships are meant to bring fun, peace and happiness to people’s lives but when it becomes abusive, it stops being fun. It takes all the happiness away. So many relationships or marriages have crumbled and fallen apart due to either the toxic traits shown by a partner or domestic violence. Some people have left their relationship because the other partner yelled, nagged and probably hurled unpleasant words at them and they felt like no! I can’t stand this, it’s abusive. Meanwhile, some others have endured that stage and are still enduring because it never turned worse. On the other hand, some have endured and have graduated to the violence stage.

Most people these days are in an abusive relationship because they do not know if they are really in an abusive relationship. They are ignorant of the signs of an abusive relationship.

So we put out the question to our readers

When does a relationship become abusive?

Share your opinions with us by leaving a comment

5 things you should not do during talking stage

Are you single and searching and you want to know about what not to do at the talking stage? Then this is for you!

The talking stage is also known as the get to know each other stage. It’s the stage where you talk about yourselves and share your contacts(maybe not)😂. We have listed out 5 things you should not do during the talking stage. Check this

5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO DURING THE TALKING STAGE

1. STAY MUTE

Staying mute at the talking stage is a total TURN OFF. you have to talk, initiate topics, just bring something to the talking table. If you are an introvert, it is best for you to search for topics to talk about on search engines like Google or apps like Pinterest to make the talking more fun. You won’t love it if it’s one sided.

2. TELL LIES

Lies! Lies! Lies! Nobody wants to be lied to especially couples. You have to refrain from telling lies while getting to know your prospective partner. Just be plain. If you feel there are some things you don’t want to share at that moment, you should probably keep them to yourself till the time you feel it’s best to share rather than telling lies.

3. INITIATE THE BIG WORD

Sometimes initiating the word SEX can be a turn off depending on your prospective partner. Some ladies don’t like to hear men talk about sex during the talking stage cos it makes them feel insecure. It leaves a bad impression on them.

4. ALLOW SEE FINISH

See finish is like oversharing or exposing everything to your prospective partner. Knowing people doesn’t stop. You can be with someone for 5years, 10 years and still not know them to the extreme. Knowing people is a gradual process, so you have to refrain from oversharing things about yourself. It might turn out bad.

5. BEING POSSESSIVE

Hello! If you can hear me from the back, I say do not be possessive. You both are only getting to know each other, she’s not yours yet, he’s not yours yet. Give them some SPACE! Allow them to pop up the big question first before claiming what’s yours.

Please like and share this post if you loved it. Don’t forget to leave a comment.

Large family: A problem?

Source: GoGraph.com

Growing up into a family of eight (parents inclusive) was something I never considered an issue during my childhood until my adulthood. Dad had difficulties with employment, so mum had to fend for the family. I attended nice schools when I was young, played around a lot and had good friends, so I thought everything was perfect.

When I was 15, things became hard and my 3rd and 4th older siblings had to drop college (1st and 2nd never attended college). We struggled with school fees and my younger sibling had to attend different schools which ended up affecting his education badly. We had tons of debts and 70% of our incomes went to the never-ending debts. It was really bad then, though not yet the best because we r still struggling .

Most times I blame the large family for the never-ending problems because I believe that if we were a small family, we wouldn’t have gone through all that. Am I right? Or I’m just being selfish?

-Anonymous.